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Tue, May. 12th, 2015, 11:49 am

Does anyone still use this site?

Wed, Dec. 14th, 2011, 11:54 am

Wed, Dec. 7th, 2011, 10:15 am

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One last time:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003059415926

Goodbye LJ! It was pleasant.

Tue, Nov. 29th, 2011, 11:35 am

Just backing up some older entries....

Tue, Nov. 8th, 2011, 09:31 pm

I've decided that I'll actually be deleting this journal tomorrow, as I have plans to use some of the material in here and don't want it to qualify as already being published. I'm thinking of collecting some of the better entries and just self-publishing it as a collection on Amazon, titled, of course, Ovariancyst. I just have no idea if I can make it cohesive enough or if I should even bother trying to do so. I mainly just want it to be preserved in some way, as I arrogantly believe that some of this stuff is worth saving.

I'm not really good at positive vibes and all that, but I really do have to think you all for giving me an excuse to write for all the years that I've been on here. Sorry I've been so neglectful for the past few, as well as so frustratingly indecisive. Trust me, it annoys me to. If you ever see me in real life, you're welcome to say "hi" or to bunch me in the face; whichever you prefer.

As I mentioned before you can still find me here:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003059415926&sk=wall

And I'm attempting to pretty much be the same on there as I was on here (minus some of the more gratuitous perversion), I'm just bringing my family and friends along for the ride this time.

Bye and thank you.

Sun, May. 8th, 2011, 08:12 am
written awhile back, still relevant

My life could've added up to something if I had only held on to the various things that I thought at the time didn't matter. The things I didn't think I needed. The loose change I took for granted. You lose these things in short slips. A gradual slide. A series of dismissive gestures. There is no cataclysmic event to mark their passing. It's a gentle gasp of time. A blink of days. A dream awoken from in tears. Sight and mind are a captive state that you can find no way out of.

I remember catching leaves as they blew off a tree in fall. Rainfall was an invitation to play. As was snow. As was ice. The heat. The cold. There was never a wrong time, never a wrong place. Every moment always contained something for me to make of it. There was always trouble, always problems, fighting, violence, and pain; but there was also this unrelenting resilience. I could cry then wipe the tears quickly and move on to the promise of the next moment. The pain was harsh, sharp, and brutal, but it was a solitary infliction; an isolated incident that ended exactly when it ended.

But at some point in time, pain began to take on a reverb...an echo. Memory took over and made all present senses and perceptions invalid and secondary. People were replaced with ghosts. A filter fell that refracted everything into distorted misinterpretations of a past that no longer exists. I'm responding to things that are no longer happening. Defending myself against threats that are no longer present. My whole life is a delayed reaction. An afterlife in purgatory.

Wed, May. 4th, 2011, 06:00 pm
another sex poll

Yes, this is another, very graphic sex poll. Just as before, no one can view your results except me and I am duty bound to never reveal anything. This poll is kinda fucked-up, but my curiosity beats the shit out of netiquette every time. Answer if you like. If you think it's creepy and weird (or stupid), then beware this space, it only gets worse. I intentionally left out any questions about homosexuality or bi-curiosity since I don't think it's appropriate to put those things in these same categories.

While this can include things that you've actually done, the main focus here is what you fantasize about.

Poll #1738080 A test of deviancy

Check those that you have either done or strongly fantasized about doing.

I have never had sex
0(0.0%)
Deflowering a virgin
8(17.0%)
Anal sex - giving
8(17.0%)
Anal sex - recieving
8(17.0%)
Watching others pee
5(10.6%)
Having others watch me pee
5(10.6%)
Pissing on others
6(12.8%)
Being pissed on
2(4.3%)
Watching others shit
0(0.0%)
Having others watch me shit
0(0.0%)
Shitting on others
0(0.0%)
Being shit on
0(0.0%)
Anything involving vomit
0(0.0%)
Fisting another vaginally
4(8.5%)
Fisting another anally
1(2.1%)

Check those that you have either done or strongly fantasized about doing.

Being fisted vaginally
3(4.9%)
Being fisted anally
1(1.6%)
Infantalization - being babied
1(1.6%)
Infantalization - babying
2(3.3%)
Flashing in public
7(11.5%)
Public masturbation
6(9.8%)
Public sex while being discreet
9(14.8%)
Public sex while being watched
6(9.8%)
Anything involving farts
1(1.6%)
Threesome
9(14.8%)
Orgy
6(9.8%)
Participating in a gang bang
3(4.9%)
Being gang banged
3(4.9%)
Incest - A specific family member
1(1.6%)
Incest - Non-specific, the general idea
3(4.9%)

Check those that you have either done or strongly fantasized about doing.

Bondage - Dominant
8(12.1%)
Bondage - Submissive
8(12.1%)
Cutting
4(6.1%)
Piercing
4(6.1%)
Anything involving amputation
1(1.5%)
Anything involving pregnancy
4(6.1%)
Foot fetish
1(1.5%)
Rape play - Perpetrator
3(4.5%)
Rape play - Victim
6(9.1%)
Tantric Sex
4(6.1%)
Age play - Being older
5(7.6%)
Age play - Being younger
5(7.6%)
Having another pretend to be dead or immobile
2(3.0%)
Pretending to be dead or immobile
3(4.5%)
Having sex with a complete stranger
8(12.1%)

Check those that you have either done or strongly fantasized about doing.

Glory hole - giving
0(0.0%)
Glory hole - recieving
4(33.3%)
Peeping Tom
4(33.3%)
Medical Play
4(33.3%)

Anything that I may have left out.

Tue, May. 3rd, 2011, 02:14 pm

strange little thing
alien mishapen cocoon, housing skin
forming a mystery
like a stalled metamorphosis
semi-larva semi-type
non-entity
shake like a seizure, vomit and foam
the birth of neurosis
wings wet and atrophied, shiny
and new and useless
stammering limp and
wimpering it's way through a maze of razor ambition
competent but snow-blind
ripped and leaking

that hardened skin you left becomes nostalgia
and looks like home

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